Some Old Jokes

A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.' 'I know,' the old man said. 'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago.' 'Well,' Granny snickered. 'Let's relive some old times.' Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. 'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly r eplied, 'My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.' 'I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps. 'One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal

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Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife co uld see at once that something was seriously wrong. 'What's wrong, Bill?' she asked. 'Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?' 'Oh, Bill, you didn't' she exclaimed. 'Yes, I did.' he replied.
'My God, Bill, what20happened?'
'I got fired.' 'No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?' 'Oh...she got fired too.'

Let Go!

(ORIGINAL COMPOSITION)
Let go of guilt
it's okay to make the same mistake again.

Let go of obsessions;
They seldom turn out the way you planned.

let go Of hate;
It's a waste of love.

Let go blaming others;
You are responsible for your own destiny.

Let o of fantasies;
So reality can come true.

Let go of self-pity;
Someone else may need you.

Let go of wanting;
Cherish what you have.

Let go of fear;
It's a wast of faith.

Let go of despair;
Change comes from acceptance and forgiveness.

Let go of the past;
The future is here - right now!

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